How to blow me out of the water:
…ping me after five years and apologize for having been a jerk. That’ll do it every time.
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Back in ‘99—when I was thinking about coming out, but still hadn’t committed to the idea—I met this guy through a mutual friend. We hit it off and hung out a couple of times. One evening after watching a video at his place we kissed. It was the first time I had ever kissed a guy.
When it was over he pretty much asked me to leave and wouldn’t speak to me any more. Not exactly the response I was expecting.
I would have expected him to pretend not to know me if he ever bumped into me again. Instead, he looked me up and apologized. Whoda thunk?
Yes, folks, I was 32 years old and post marriage before I ever kissed a guy.
I offer no defense. My emotional immaturity was spectacularly demonstrated in the way I reacted to what was an INCREDIBLE night (There’s no way it was his first… he was WAY too good). Sean evoked feelings of such depth that I was unprepared to conform them to the “Framework of Should” I had thought so important. It would be akin to deliberately wrecking your brand new dream car because it wouldn’t fit in your 100-year-old garage of rotting wood. I intend my apology as the first step in rebuilding a bridge back to a man of heroic character.