Ex-gay or Ex-reality?
Over at the Independant Gay Forum, Mark Pietrzyk pens an article about a few of the leaders and most public figures of ex-gay ministries. I think this is the crux of the article right here:
It is not unusual for people who lead irresponsible and uncontrolled lives to be deeply unhappy, and one can readily credit the ex-gays' tales of how unhappy they were in the "before" phase of their stories. But they go on to accuse the "gay lifestyle" of being inherently unrestrained and decadent. Such a claim amounts by implication to an evasion of personal responsibility, a way of blaming one's past on a handy scapegoat rather than on one's own personal folly. Some gay persons lead overindulgent, irresponsible, out-of-control lives. Countless other gay persons do not. Homosexual orientation is not a choice, but what one chooses to do with it is.
It is interesting to note that without exception these men seemed to have had little, if any, self control, most addicted to drugs or alcohol and several working as male prostitutes. And they were unhappy with their lives? What a shocker! Guess what folks. I've been out for five years now. Never been paid for sex even as a joke between lovers, much less worked as a prostitute. Not addicted to drugs. In fact, never done drugs, ever. Not even pot. I do enjoy a drink now and then, but I have the sense to avoid alcohol if I'm feeling depressed. So here, at least, is one homosexual who is not "remarkably deficient in self-control and restraint, prone to addictive behavior, and often lacking a moral center altogether. "
For me the most damning aspect of this article is how it details the changes in the conversion stories of these men. In some cases there are three different versions, sometimes differing in rather important details such as whether the gentleman was happy being gay or not, and whether there was a voice from Heaven or simply a prayer uttered. One has to wonder how any of these men have any credibility at all.
A couple of days ago I wrote about people who prefer to blame God, fate or chemistry for their problems rather than accept responsibility. It sounds to me like these guys needed to blame homosexuality for their pathetic behavior simply because it was easier than facing the fact they had serious personal deficits they were unable overcome on their own. It sounds like most of them had shitty childhoods and stood in need of assistance to get handle on life, overcome their past and be productive members of society. It's just unfortunate, in my opinion, that religious fanaticism filled that void for them. Still, if being ex-gay has afforded these men some semblance of control over their lives, bully for them. That's hardly proof of change in their sexual orientation, however. A more credible spokesperson would be someone who led a stable, productive life as a homosexual, decided to change and then told his story in a consistent and believable fashion.
Anyone?