R.I.P.
A few days ago I posted something about the quest for longevity and attempted to imply that I though quality was preferable over quantity. I thought that perhaps my friend Tony might have some thoughts on the subject. Today I learned that whatever thoughts Tony has on the subject he will be keeping to himself. My heart goes out to Shunji, his partner of 30+ years.
Tony and I met shortly after I came out, during my fifteen seconds of fame when I made the front page of PlanetOut with a comment I had made on the Boy Scouts, which was a hot topic at the time. It seemed to me then, as it does now, that fighting legal battles in the courts that would certainly take years, was a waste of time and ignored the needs of boys today. I suggested the Boy Scouts be left to their bigotry and someone start up a different scouting program based on different and more inclusive values. It was a radical suggestion given the tone of the discussion, and it caught Tony's eye. He emailed me and we corresponded for a bit before I met him during a business trip to NYC. I spent a fair amount of time in New York at that time. Every trip included an evening at Tony's apartment in Greenwich Village.
Tony once told me he was a yellow dog democrat. Unfamiliar with the term, I asked him what that meant. "It means I'd vote for a yellow dog if it were a democrat." He was farther left of center than anyone else I knew personally and we often had lively debates on various subjects, not the least of which was religion. I'm more or less neutral about religion in general, but Tony had a more Marxist view of religion being the opium of the masses. Born and raised Catholic, attending Jesuit schools and even spending some time at Oxford, Tony had become an avowed atheist by the time I met him. He tried to bring me around to his way of thinking without success. It was one of many topics where we agreed to disagree. Still, he attended services at Grace Cathedral with Brian and I during our Sonoma trip. After what I thought was an excellent sermon on the importance of reason and personal integrity in discovering Truth, I was pleased to see him donate to the offering plate when it came around. When I asked him about it he told me he was happy to support humble, rational people wherever they may be found.
I wish I there had been time to cook him a meal, he always dubious about my claims to cooking skills. It was something I was going to do my next trip to visit. I wish he had had the chance to meet D.
He told me on more than one occasion that if there was an afterlife, he was coming back to haunt me. I always told him I looked forward to it. He has, as of today, yet to make good on his promise.
Peace, my friend.