Hiding in the Backwaters Just one more blog on the net.

N*W*C

Went and saw N*W*C a few weeks back. Posts like this one tend to sit for a while so I can make sure I'm saying what I want to say. Still feeling a little trepidatious about this one, but it's time to put a fork in it and call it done.

After the show I participated in a discussion group at a local coffee shop where I was one of three white people at a table of 9. I was, however, the only white person who was talking. I go to these things because I want to try and broaden my understanding of the human experience, but I usually end up walking away feeling like an ass. Not because of anything stupid or insensitive that I have said. I'm smarter and more aware than that. I walk away feeling like an ass because, regardless of my personal beliefs or my personal politics, I am white (and middle class male, to boot), and that automatically makes me one of them, one of the oppressors. I suppose I internalize those kind of messages way too easily, but that's a topic for another day.

Apparently N*W*C is quite controversial. Groups on campus really had their panties in a knot about the show. There were several power guest speakers that came in to "deconstruct" the play even before the curtain went up. From what I've been able to gather, people are upset because it takes too soft a stance on racial inequality. They spend a lot of time poking fun at stereotypes and I guess folk think that will give the masses permission to join in. I suppose I can see some rich, clueless white kid taking it the wrong way, but I find it hard to believe people would walk out of the show thinking it's okay to call a black man a n*gger. I thought it was pretty clear that is still not okay.

Some were uncomfortable or offended by how often n*gger, wetb*ck and ch*nk were said during the show, mostly (if I understood correctly) because of the comic context in which they were used. I really don't get that. Have you ever seen Chris Rock live? He drops the n-word all the time. "But he's black. That's different." Well, they each kept to the slur that fit the color of their skin. You didn't hear the Latino using n*gger, nor did the black man use ch*nk. So what's the big deal? Is it the venue? If the show were at a private theater and not a university campus would that be different? Think about comedy in general. If you pay attention, it's all about stereotypes. When the Asian fellow says, "Oh! And Asian people do know how to drive! We're just cautious" we all laugh because we know exactly what he's talking about. Because of the comic context I'm not sure it reinforces stereotypes nearly as well as getting stuck behind a car going 45 in a 55, finally being able to pass, and glancing over to find it piloted by an Asian person.

The more I think about it the more it sounded like the message was "we are more alike than we are different and we need to get past these rigid, ridiculous definitions of race." Not sure what the problem with that message is. Just because we aren't there yet doesn't mean we can't dream. And if no one dreams...well, how is it supposed to happen then?

There was a segment where each of the three--a black man, a Latino, and an Asian--took turns talking about the things in other stereotypes they wished they could be. For example, Asian men are often viewed as asexual. Hence, the Asian fellow talked about how he wanted to be seen as a mysterious, sex machine with the guaranteed ability to drive his woman to distraction in the bedroom. ("Big penis" was a running joke throughout the show: black = have, Asian = have not, but more on that in a minute.) That seemed to be one of the sticking points with the discussion group (which was primarily Asian for whatever reason). It seemed they didn't like the idea that not all stereotypes are bad and that some people might actually want to be seen that way.

The topic of passing came up since I, being gay, am "other" but can fake it if I want to. Thus my experience coming to terms with my sexuality can't compare with the experience of someone of color realizing the the color of their skin means something, and not something nice. We both had to come to terms with our position in society, but unlike me, a person of color can't usually pretend to be white. I didn't bring it up at the table and maybe I should have, but, honestly, I'm not sure that's an asset. Having to decide every single time if it is worth it to out yourself to some random sales clerk who assumes the flowers you're buying are for your wife gets old. Tiresome even. Most of the time I don't bother. I suppose I could camp it up like a friend of mine whose outrageous behavior is at least in part telling the world, "Don't you dare assume I'm straight." I could don glittery silk shirts and and rhinestone Elton John glasses. But none of those things is really me and would feel phony and affected. Sometimes I do wish I didn't have the choice to make and would prefer the stares and jeers of the uncouth.

Of course then you'd have the flip side of that coin. One of the young ladies at the table who is of Korean descent told the story of an experience in the hospital where a nurse entered the room and started making conversation based on all kinds of (incorrect) assumptions about her likes and dislikes just because she is Asian. Again, I probably should have asked if she corrected/educated the nurse and if she didn't then why not? Would it have been worse if the nurse had assumed she was white?

Right on the heels of that discussion came ex/non-Mormons. Some have likened their adjustment to living in a predominantly Mormon society to the oppression people of color feel. Several of the folk at the table take offense at that. They felt it devalues their experience. I could wade into treacherous territory here, but I'll just say I'm not sure how I feel about that. I don't feel its any more appropriate for me to assume the young lady at the table who self-identified as LDS is a repressed, homo-hating, pill-popping Mormon than it is for me to assume someone has grilled puppy for Sunday dinner because he is Korean. Is the distress a person of color feels worse than the distress of a white person in a minority? I don't know. Don't suppose I ever will.

Oh, getting back to "big penis." The ladies tired of the joke pretty quick. I didn't think it was excessive, but then, I'm a man. One lady said she wanted six people on stage three men and three women and that would give a more accurate picture. Accurate picture of what? Sorry, but that is the male experience. Having six people on stage would give a view of male/female interaction in the context of race, but if it were three women on stage it would give a completely different view. I'd be willing to bet they'd have been talking about boobs or Aunt Flo or something like that. The men in the audience would have tired of menstruation jokes just as quickly as women tired of penis jokes. Is one better than the other? I don't think so. Just different. The male experience is different from the female experience is different from the male-female experience.

Does all this have a point? I don't know. Probably not. Just ruminating on the experience.