I really should be doing homework, but I can’t let these things pass.

Praise the Lord and pass the ethanol!

Went to the auto show in town over the weekend. Chevy had ETHANOL plastered over most of their largest vehicles. ‘Cause ethanol is the answer to the “oil crisis.” Even better it’s grown right here the good ol’ US of A. Never mind that farmers have stopped growing things like, oh, wheat, so they can grow corn instead. Of course, ranchers, poultry and beef alike, are hoping the rising corn output will reduce feed prices.

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Really? I thought farmers were planting more corn because the demand has cause prices to increase. They think they’ll be able to compete with the US thirst for fuel? Ooohh-K. Watch for food prices to start going up. Essentially we’ve decided we’d rather drive than eat.

Palm oil is in high demand right now. Apparently it’s a good source for biodiesel fuel. In response, palm farmers in the far east are clearing acres and acres of tropical forest to plant palm trees. So we’re going to ditch those nasty fossil fuels, but destroy CO₂ eating trees in the process. Good choice.

Someone at work a few years back was quite excited about a new engine that ran on nothing but water. Of course there was a big conspiracy to keep said engine from coming to market. Whatever. Let’s say there is such and engine and there isn’t a conspiracy. Let’s say such an engine does come to market. (Indeed, I think I heard some salesman in the Chevy area saying something about an engine whose only output was water vapor.) You think bottled water is expensive now? Can you just imagine a California driving water powered cars in drought years? And you thought rationing water for your lawn was bad.

You can’t solve the “oil crisis” by switching fuels. You’ve got to address the appetite. Of course the worst abusers are the world’s wealthy and powerful. Think they’ll give up their private jets and start flying (gasp!) first class instead? (Does Airforce One really have to be a 747?) Does anyone really need a BMW M5 except to say, “I have so much money I can afford to buy (and drive) a gas hog and I don’t care who knows it?”

Robitusson is a controlled substance. Can I see your ID please?

Apparently Montana’s governor is pitching a fit over the new Real ID standards imposed by our beloved Department of Homeland Security. (Gosh. Doesn’t the sound of that just warm the heart?) He’s decided Montana won’t comply and has asked the governors of 17 other states to join him.

Of course the DHS (I really wish it was the Department of Security in the Homeland so I could write DipSHits), is being defensive and snarky, saying it will the the governor’s fault when airports backup because anyone without a shiny new Real ID will have to be sidelined and patted down by officials from the DHS as well as have their luggage searched by hand.

The ability to get false identification must end, and Real ID is that step,” [DHS spokesperson] said.

Are you kidding me? People create fake passports all the time. How much harder is this new Real ID going to be to fake? How long to you think it will take terrorists and other enterprising (though less dangerous) criminals to figure out a way to do it? Oh, did you miss the part where everyone under the age of 50 will have to reapply for a driver’s license and take in a birth certificate and marriage license, where appropriate, to do so? Because birth certificates and marriage licenses are damn near impossible to fake, right? Right?

And how about this little gem?

A DHS policy maker suggested earlier this week that Real IDs could also be required to buy cold medicine and to prove employment eligibility.

Cold medicine. The bane of civilized societies everywhere. And Montana’s governor is the only one who thinks this is a bad idea?

I notice Utah wasn’t one of the 17 states enjoined by the good governor. Sad, but not terribly surprising.