The Wounded Inner Child
I've been meaning to write about this for a few days now, but I never seem to get around to it. Since I am playing hooky today I figured I might as well sit down and see if I can get it done before I have to go to my other class.
I don't really think of my self as wounded. Angry, yes, but wounded? There is a part of me that is aware that I probably am, but I do my best not to pay attention. In part, I don't know how useful it would be. In part, because isn't that what you're supposed to do? "What happened to the skin below my knee? Oh, wiped out on the bike. No big deal." Still, every once and a while, my inner child shouts, PAY ATTENTION TO ME DAMMIT!
I was chatting with a classmate the other day. She and I are on the student council together. To us falls the task of finding a student to speak at commencement ceremonies. She was telling me about another classmate who was campaigning to be the speaker. She was less than impressed with this individual, who I have though was a pretty good guy. When I asked her why her opinion was less than flattering, she cited a conversation she had with him about GLBT equality. Apparently he feels that the status quo is acceptable. "I have lots of gay friends. They're fine." Really?
I have to wonder how often their state of mind comes up when he's with his gay friends. Gay folk seem particularly attuned to who is open and who is not and not very many are going to talk about things that upset them with someone who is perceived as less than an ally. Do you really talk about the assumption of health insurance that married spouses enjoy? "Oh, I'm a pretty healthy person. I can just get my own. No big deal." Do you really talk about having to make a decision and hold your breath every time you mention your intimate relationship, but straight folk take it for granted that they can casually slip their relationship status into a conversation without giving it a second thought? Do you really talk about how you hate the word 'partner' because partner is not used in an intimate context in our society and it's just an excuse to let the narrow minded feel less threatened by you? Do you really talk about how it feels to have your supposed friends saying, "They're not disadvantaged. They're fine."
D and I went to see Matchbox 20 in concert last week. If you are any kind of fan, do. not. miss. them. They are absolutely amazing in concert. The first opening act was some band from New Orleans who were pretty good. They lost me on the last number with the whole, stomp-around-the-stage-and-throw-instruments thing. The second act, however, was Alanis Morrisette. Twofer! She closed her set with "Ironic." When she got to "...meeting the man of my dreams..." the bass player was wrapping a bright pink bola around the neck of one of the other guitar players. "...and meeting his beautiful husband...". Now Alanis is Canadian and she's not exactly known for mincing words. It wasn't so much that she slipped that in as it was that the crowd ate it up. Do you have any idea how it feels for a guy who spent most of his life scared of what would happen if people "found out" to have a packed arena cheering for her little subversion? To say that it was a moving experience would be something of an understatement.
I may be 40 years old, but that scared little 14 year-old is still in there somewhere and moments like that feel really good.