Hiding in the Backwaters Just one more blog on the net.

Nerd Alert

D got me a game called Dragon Age II for Christmas. It's pretty standard fantasy fare: swordsmen, wizards, dwarves, elves, with the occasional dragon thrown in for good measure. As you go through the game you meet new characters which you can include in your adventure parties. You also interact with these characters, helping them sort out things they have going on in their own lives.

The game proceeds by passing through decision points, "What do you want to say now?" You usually have several options: you can be the peacemaker, the funny guy, or the no-nonsense tough guy. Occasionally, when interacting with your friends, you have an option marked with a heart which indicates romantic intent. I was pleasantly surprised to find the game doesn't discriminate. Romantic options come up when I'm talking with my male friends just as they do with my female friends. This is actually quite out of the ordinary. Generally video games that allow for romantic relationships keep it quite heterosexual.

So in chapter one of the game, I started flirting with the elven swordsman I met along the way. In chapter two, things got...shall we say...steamy. All very PG, but the elf immediately regretted our interlude, "My past...blah blah blah..." and backed off. Then in chapter three sir elf was feeling morose because his sister had just betrayed him to his arch enemy. Naturally when the romantic option to comfort him came up, I took it. There was a look of appreciation, but that was about it. Now, however, the other members of my party are giving the elf a hard time. (They talk to each other as we move from place to place.)

"Oh, you're in love."
"How would you know?"
"Because you make puppy dog eyes at Hawke [my character] every time his back is turned. It's adorable."
"There are no puppy dog eyes."

"So Fenris, who swept who off his feet? I'm thinking Hawke swept you. He's taller. Could have been awkward the other way around."
"All I'm going to say, dwarf, is there was no sweeping."

It's hard to describe how it feels to operate in a word where no body gives a shit that I'm in a relationship with a guy. People are suspicious of magic and some have issues with the fact that I'm a mage, but nobody cares I'm gay. I find myself playing the game as much to see where the relationship goes as what big, evil monster I have to kill next. Yes, I had friends both gay and straight who were supportive when I started dating D, but for the most part they were all friends I had made after I came out. My friends before I came out? Not so much.

When I first saw this video, my first thought was, "I like what it has to say, but it's a bit melodramatic." My second thought was, "Isn't that just like you. Finding some reason to minimize what you feel, make it palatable to others around you." It seems to fit in with the topic at hand, so here it is in all its melodramatic glory...because I do feel like this sometimes.